THE JAMES' OSCAR PICKS 2007

Howdy all. Thought I would register my picks early, and if it helps you in any office pools, bets, etc...feel free to thank me later. I'll keep commentary and the range of choices limited to my predicted winners and the main categories, but if you want the full spectrum, email me and I'm happy to send it to you. Let's get started:

Nominees for Best Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio (Blood Diamond), Ryan Gosling (Half Nelson), Peter O'Toole (Venus), Will Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness), Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland). I'm going with the safe bet. Not only did this man win the SAG and Golden Globe Awards, but his body of work is most deserving and his performance is supposed to be uncanny as Idi Amin. DiCaprio's "work" as a South African in BD is a joke, and he screwed his chances by being pushed for both BD and Departed, Gosling is a dark horse, but doesn't have the body of work, O'Toole is a sentimental favorite...always nominated but never a win (criminal that he didn't win for Lawrence of Arabia or Becket), and Will Smith just doesn't have the chops. My money and Justice (not that it exists) falls on Forest Whitaker (Ghost Dog, The Crying Game, The Shield, Bloodsport...LOL, that's for you JJ) to take home the statue.

Nominees for Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jackie Earle Haley (Little Children), Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond), Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls), Mark Wahlberg (The Departed). Arkin is the sentimental favorite, and I'd be fine with him winning. Honsou is just an amazing actor in process of building an impressive list of screen credits...but Blood Diamond isn't one of them. Wahlberg puts in a good performance in Scorcese's remake, and I'd also be fine with him winning...after Boogie Nights and Huckabees, this is my favorite performance of his. Now we come to the real battle: Haley v/s Murphy. Former child actor, Jackie Earle Haley of The Bad News Bears flicks (he played Kelly Leak) comes back to deliver an impressive performance of a truly conflicted individual...a child molester. Any other year, I'd say he would take it...but he's battling Eddie Murphy's comeback in Dreamgirls, and you know how people love comebacks. We remember all the things they did to impress us before, and lose ourselves in the nostaliga of what our lives were like back then...subconsciously linking those memories to that person's performances. They're triumph becomes ours...and that's why I'm betting Eddie will take the Oscar. However, there is the possibility of upset...which Eddie is helping with the release of crap like Norbit, and then I'd say it would be between Haley and Wahlberg.

Nominees for Best Actress: Penelope Cruz (Volver), Judi Dench (Notes on a Scandal), Helen Mirren (The Queen), Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada), Kate Winslet (Little Children). This category really has some talented actresses. Cruz has won acclaim at Cannes for her performance in Pedro Almodovar's Volver, and has a laudable body of work behind her. Likewise Judi Dench has won before, and has several nominations, as does the almost obligatory annual nomination of Meryl Streep (though if anyone argues that this is an Oscar performance for Prada, I would say you're an idiot), but I think it's really between Kate Winslett and Helen Mirren. Go with the safe money, like me, and the pick is Helen Mirren as Elizabeth II in The Queen. She's got the best credits with no wins, and has won all the awards leading up to the show.

Nominees for Best Supporting Actress: Adriana Barazza (Babel), Cate Blanchett (Notes on a Scandal), Abigal Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls), Rinko Kikuchi (Babel). Safe bet again lays the trophy with Golden Globe winner, Hudson, for Dreamgirls. I thought Breslin was amazing in Little Miss Sunshine, but as far as child actresses go...why Ivana Banquero wasn't nominated for Best Actress for playing Ofelia in Pan's Labyrinth remains a mystery to me. However, Breslin needs to develop a list of credits, Blanchett (while awesome as usual) already has a win, and I don't feel any vibe on Bazarra or Kikuchi for Babel...so I believe Jennifer Hudson will take home the statue.

Nominees for Best Picture: Babel, The Departed, Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen. My heart screams Eastwood again and again and again here...since according to all accounts (I'm seeing it next weekend) he has created another masterpiece from the master-artisan phase of his legendary career. However, with 2 wins as Best Director and Best Film, I think it's unlikely. Little Miss Sunshine will not win since it's not exactly Oscar Fare (they don't normally like comedies) and it truly was a triumph to be nominated, and The Queen won't win because not enough people have seen it. This leaves us to the battle...Babel v/s The Departed. The safe bet is Babel...winning the Golden Globe award earlier this year...but I'm picking The Departed. Yes, I said The Departed...even though it made my List of Worst Films of '06. As I said in my review, I liked parts...but Infernal Affairs (the original Hong Kong flick it's based upon) was better and DiCaprio was miscast. Most of the Oscar-alumni haven't seen IA, and are enchanted with DiCaprio (which I hope wears off soon), and I think it's Scorcese's time. They've passed him over time and time again...but now I think and hope that he will be rewarded for Goodfellas, Raging Bull, Cape Fear, Mean Streets, The Last Temptation of Christ, Casino, and other classics. However, Babel may win...since Hollywood likes to think that because they vote a certain way, talk about things they don't understand on television, or wear their smarmy ribbons and t-shirts...that they are actually "doing something" to support causes and highlight issues that are far too complex and, literally, ugly for them to truly dirty their hands with. So they may make themselves feel good and vote for Babel, while their illegal third-world housekeepers and servants work for pennies in their mansions at home.

Nominees for Best Director: Alejando Inaritu (Babel), Martin Scorsese (The Departed), Clint Eastwood (Letters From Iwo Jima), Stephen Frears (The Queen), Paul Greengrass (United 93). My pick here is Scorcese, for all the reasons that I outlined above in the Best Film category. In my mind Eastwood would win every time, but he's beaten Scorcese twice now, and I hope/think that the Academy realizes that sometimes they need to honor Altmans, Kurosawas, Kubricks, Scotts, and other true visionaries with Oscars, and not just the ceremonial kind. Don't know how Greengrass is nominated for Director of a film not considered good enough to make the Best Film category, and the others are again competing against Scorcese's whole body of work, not just his current entry.

Nominees for Best Foreign Film: After the Wedding (Denmark), Days of Glory (Algeria), The Lives of Others (Germany), Pan's Labyrinth (Mexico), Water (Canada). Tough call...if there was any justice then Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth, the only one on the list I've actually seen, would win. That film was amazing...and just another great film in the developing career of a great filmmaker (Blade 2, Hellboy). I've heard good things about Water, but this one is up in the air. I actually wish that Eastwood's Iwo Jima was an entry here, and therefore a sure winner like it did at the Golden Globes, but I'd be thrilled with Del Toro getting some much deserved recognition. So...I'm picking Pan's Labryinth...although it's with my heart, and from nowhere else.


Nominees for Best Adapted Screenplay: Borat, Children of Men, The Departed, Little Children, Notes on a Scandal. This one is tough...Borat has a chance, since it's genius work and this is the only thing it could possibly win. Likewise, it's a crime that Children of Men isn't nominated for Best Film and Best Director, since it's SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE DEPARTED, amongst others in the category. The Departed has a definite shot if the Academy decides to make it Scorcese's night, and I'd put Little Children and Notes up as dark horses. I'm betting on Children of Men to take it, since it should have been nominated and could have won the big two. Let's hope some justice prevails. However, like I said...don't be surprised if The Departed takes this one too.

Nominees for Best Original Screenplay: Babel, Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth, The Queen. Again, my heart says Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth since he wrote the screenplay also. However, I'd say the competition will come from Iwo Jima and Sunshine. I'm going to go out on a limb and take Pan's Labyrinth again, even though the safer bet will be on Sunshine, I believe, to win a vote on what Hollywood thinks is independent spirit, and just so that cute girl can get more camera time.

Those are my major picks...some are with the heart, and not purely logical...some are what "should be" and not necessarily what will be. On the other hand, if it was me nominating and choosing (like in the perfect world it would be) then nominees for Best Film would be The Fountain, Children of Men, Pan's Labyrinth, Letters from Iwo Jima, and The Departed. Likewise for their respective directors. Yes...I'd put The Departed on the list, but that's because I also feel Scorcese is an unhonored Master, and his body of a work as a whole triumphs over those of filmmakers who haven't won, but are nominated. Anyway, check out the Oscars (the only awards show I watch annually...although I will be watching The Grammy's this year, since The Police are reuniting) on February 25, 2007. Until next time...The James is out.

ROTJ: NOTES ON A SCANDAL & THE JAMES' FILM CREW MEETING #3


Richard Eyre's Notes On A Scandal was being advertised as a Hitchcockian suspense-driven thriller, so when I made plans to attend a screening as a Film Crew meeting, I was prepared for some stern stuff. It also boasted two grand dammes of cinema: Judi Dench (M in the new James Bond flicks, Shakespeare in Love, Mrs. Brown) and Cate Blanchett (Galadriel in LOTR, Elizabeth, Talented Mr. Ripley). Both fantastic actresses, both former Oscar winners, and both currently nominated for Oscars in Notes. Therefore, my expectations were quite high. This usually represents danger for me...but luckily the film rose to the occasion. The plot revolves around Dench's character, Barbara, and her obsession with a new teacher at their English public school: Sheba, played by Blanchett. What follows is an escalation of obsession, but not one that rings the same predictable bells as all of the film's predecessors. I'd have to compare the plot to Cable Guy (sorry), but the tone to more of One Hour Photo. Avoiding all cliches, especially things that would have altered the tone of the film...or taken it away from its realism and into fantasy...the film conveys a creepy, dread-filled menacing tone which is delivered by Dench's character who is also the narrator of the film. The audience silently watches in dread as things get out of hand, and is prepared to be shocked...unfortunately Hollywood has preconditioned us to just await "when things get out of hand and somebody grabs a hatchet"...but thankfully this film remains more restrained...and hence, believable. No, Notes is not a flick that deters from its original premise...the journey of the audience into the twisted world of Dench's bizarre character, and the ultimate revelations within the film force one examine their own natures, as they learn the consequences of isolation and trust. I'm giving this flick a 4 out of 5, since 5's are reserved for the truly special...films that could be consciousness-altering, groundbreaking, or just the coolest things I ever saw. What was definitely 5 out of 5 was the incomparable performance of Judi Dench as a completely believable monstrosity of a human being dedicated to finding a person (willing or unwilling) to join her in her trap of isolation. Likewise Blanchett gives of herself completely to the film, bringing pathos and understanding to a character that in anyone else's hands might have seemed like a sensationalist stereotype ripped from recent headlines. While I think Helen Mirren and Jennifer Hudson will win the Oscars for various reasons, these ladies give truly Oscar-worthy performances. As far as the Film Crew meeting...let's say that 4 guys meeting to watch a film about 2 women was IRONIC to say the least. However, Williams, Lazenby, Tommy Grotti, and I watched it with due sensitivity and appreciation...except where Judi Dench described how in school she and her female compatriots used to "stroke each other." What followed was adolescent, puerille, and I'm embarrassed to admit to being complicit in our idiotic reactions...we giggled. I blame my company, but regardless...we had a great time, saw a worthy film, and then followed with lunch and a lengthy discussion on its merits. Next week's selection looks like Eastwood's Letters from Iwo Jima...so make plans to attend.

DINNER WITH FRIENDS...AND A LEGEND

Howdy all. This weekend is the F/X Con in Orlando, and I was previously scheduled to go and hang out with my good pal, John Higashi, and our equally grand amigo, Craig Zablo. I was mostly interested in getting two more of the Serenity crew to sign my film poster, and possibly a couple of the guys to sign my Terminator poster. Artist-wise, I was interested in meeting Gene Ha, artist of Alan Moore's Top 10 and most recently The Authority, and of getting to talk to one of my idols...Writer/Artist Matt Wagner. If you aren't familiar with Matt's work, he is the creator/writer/artist of Mage (modern-day take on the Arthurian mythos with hero Kevin Matchstick as the Pendragon...yes, Matchstick as in part of my email, and I have a tpb cover...the only cover of anything that I own), Grendel (taking the villain of Beowulf's name and several incarnations of an assassain for hire), and several Batman, and other DC projects. (I even have a Batman commission he did for me a few years back air-brushed on to a jean jacket I have) I had met Matt a few times before, but hadn't had the chance to talk with him in the past couple of years. Anyway, circumstances as they are, and with MegaCon so close, I ended up not being able to go. However, my friend John Higashi would not let that stand. He had gone to great lengths to set up a dinner with Matt and Gene Ha on the Friday evening following the convention, and urged me to drive out...if only for the dinner, for which he was graciously picking up the tab. I went back and forth about it in my head, seeing as I truly had no money, was teaching on the Friday, had a rehearsal, and nothing is ever simple about taking off quickly...but when he called me again Friday afternoon, I said "Hell Yeah." I left my MND rehearsal early, grabbed an overnight bag, a couple of Matt's hardcover books, and hauled ass to Orlando...Emerill's at Universal to be exact. I met up with John, Matt, and Gene without a problem and then proceeded to have one of my all-time favorite evenings in the past few years. I did my best not to "geek-out" in front of Matt, and even managed not to do the old Chris Farley thing..."So...Matt Wagner...creator of Mage...you know when you took like, the old Arthurian legends, blended them with the archetypal hero's journey and Greek Mythology, and put them into graphic novel form that shook the world...and continues to spread its influences in both independent and mainstream comics around the world...you remember when you did that?" "Uhh...yeah?" "Yeah...that was awesome." I managed not to do that...although that was going through my head. It turns out that Matt is a huge "foodie" or person who enjoys fine cuisine, and dazzled us all with tales of his culinary adventures across the world. Yes, The James was silent in that part of the conversation...since I'm not exactly the most sohpisticated guy in the world, especially with food...but then films came up. I heard the bell ring folks, and then I could contribute to the conversation and not feel like a complete idiot. After dinner...two had Atlantic Redfish, Gene had Duck, and I went for the steak...I'm a daredevil, we had parts of two desserts, and then left Universal. I followed John as he dropped Matt and Gene off at the hotel, and then went with him back to his lair, surrounded by crack-whores, meth-labs, and junkies in his econo-suite apartments. We stayed up for a while talking about art, looking at some of his new acquisitions (always mind-boggling), and relishing the fact that I had not acted like a complete idiot in front of someone whose work has always been near and dear to me. One drag was that Craig StalloneZone Zablo decided to go back home after the con, so I missed hanging out with another good friend of mine, but hopefully we'll catch up next time. I left early the next morning to make my Film Crew's gathering, leaving my books with John to get Matt to sign, and am now looking forward to hanging with him again for the MegaCon, and further adventures. Thanks again, John...for giving me so many opportunities to meet and hang out with several of my favorite creators outside of the convention arena. You are the Man. Check out Matt Wagner's work in Mage, Grendel, Green Arrow covers (the Green Arrow postage stamp), and Batman mini-series.

ROTJ: JOE CARNAHAN'S SMOKIN'ACES & THE JAMES' FILM CREW MEETING #2

It was the second scheduled meeting of The James' Film Crew, and I had chosen Smokin' Aces as our new flick. After watching Pan's Labyrinth last week, I wanted something in a completely different direction, and this seemed like the perfect candidate. The film was shot with Carnahan's penchant "shaky cam" action sequences, much like Greengrass and others today, and his flawed characters that display their true natures when embroiled in impossible situations. The plot was fairly simple...the mob wants Buddy "Aces" Israel, played by Jeremy Piven, dead, and they send out a million-dollar contract which gathers a group of competing hit men together at his hotel to kill him. Add Ray Liotta and Ryan Reynolds to the mix as FBI Agents attempting to prevent the hit, and you have the typical "shoot-0ut" plot that seems commonplace. (There is a "twist" that supposedly happens later, but the first half is dreadfully easy to figure out, and the last half doesn't matter) I knew that if Carnahan managed to give us characters that were alive, and had journeys to complete within the film, that the plot would be largely irrelevant, and much enjoyment would be had. Unfortunately, Carnahan failed. The flick wasn't awful, and I did like parts of it very much. Alicia Keys was fine in her role as a hit-woman, Ben Affleck and Peter Berg complemented well as bail-bondsmen sent by Jason Bateman's coked-out lawyer to retrieve Buddy Israel, and Liotta and Reynolds put forth decent performances which seemed out-of-place in this emotionally-empty vacuum of a film. I'm not saying that deaths and violence have to have profound meanings or implications...not every film is a meditation on the nature or consequences of violence like Unforgiven, or A History of Violence, but where Tarantino and even Guy Ritchie succeed in action flicks is in combining brutality and humor inside their invented stylistic worlds...the violence doesn't resonate deep emotional blows, or cause the audience to search for meaning since it's part of the stylistic texture of the film. Carnahan's film, on the other hand, seems abrupt and, absent this style that Tarantino and Ritchie have, it leaves you wondering if you should care deeply when characters die, and even feel cheated when they die and you don't...because ultimately the characterization was brief and shallow. Overall, I thought Jason Bateman's performance was outstanding and hilarious, the kid without his Ritalin doing Kung-Fu was absolutely insane, and others will claim Jeremy Piven was awesome...but I can't stand Piven, so I wasn't impressed.

Our crew this week included the lovely Sheena B-N, her husband the stoic Jeff N, Gallac & Jamin, Williams, Lazenby, and the amazing Kaitlyn G & Rachel M at the flick but not at the lunch following. I hope this crew keeps meeting in various forms, and will be sending out the invites for next week soon...I'm thinking Notes On A Scandal looks good unless something else turns up. Until next time...The James is out.

ROTJ: GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S PAN'S LABYRINTH

The fact that this film made the top of hundreds of Best Film lists made me annoyed, but unsurprised, that my hometown Butthole, USA would wait weeks to get it here. However, it was the fact that it was Del Toro's next film that made me insane about it. Del Toro, he of the Hellboy, Blade 2, and The Devil's Backbone coolness. After Hellboy, Del Toro decided to go back and make another low budged personal film, much like Devil's Backbone, and now we have Pan's Labyrinth. I was a little disturbed by how the film was being marketed, since it concentrated solely on the fairy tale aspects of the story. It is not a classic fairy tale. Rather it is a dual narrative with a young girl coming to live with her pregnant mother and new stepfather (a cruel military officer) at an outpost in the forest as he tries to crush a rebellion during the Spanish Civil War, and her journey (whether real or imagined) into a world of fairy tale, guided by a faun. Yes Lameos...it's subtitled, and 3 people discovered this during the first 5 minutes and walked out. I rounded up a great crew of people to see this, including Lovely Sheena B-N, fellow poster Gallac & Jamin, and the Dark One...Lazenby. We all shared the same opinion: IT WAS A WORK OF ART. Possibly Del Toro's finest film thus far, it works on multiple levels and doesn't miss any depth for including so many things. It amazes me how some truly fantastic films can include so many things done right, while others fail in the attempt of painting a masterpiece...and it ends up shallow. The acting was amazing, and that's everyone involved in the picture. Ivana Banquero, the little girl playing Ofelia in the film, is absolutely amazing, and on her way to being a huge "Dakota Fanning-like" star. The special effects with the creatures and the other worlds will amaze you, and make you forget that this film is indeed a low-budged artistic project. However, it's Del Toro's ability to render the tragic need for escapism of a little girl caught in an impossibly cruel situation, a mother's inability to help her child though she loves her, the cruelty men who believe they are "right" are capable of, and then manages to wrap them all up in a fairy tale context that will break your heart that makes this film spectacular. I admit to being "moved" once, near the end...and challenge anyone who is not machine or cylon not to be. I saw this film this year, so I'm sure it will end up on my top 10 for '07, but if it was last year...like everyone else in the civilized world, then I'd rank it after The Fountain and Children of Men. I give it a 5 out of 5, and recommend it heartily to the tasteful cinema lover. Now, like many of you, I await Del Toro's next project...Hellboy 2.

David Beckham Signs With MLS

If you weren't living under a rock, or dead, you might know now that International Soccer Super-Star David Beckham signed a 5 year contract with the L.A. Galaxy in Major League Soccer worth approximately 250 million dollars (after endorsements) to begin as soon as his contract ends with Real Madrid in July. Now the uproar has already been huge, with critics lambasting this as foolish since they claim his best soccer days are behind, Real Madrid's Club President said no "top" level teams wanted him, and it's been suggested that this has more to do with Beckham and Posh wanting to live in L.A. amongst their celebrity friends, like Tom Cruise. Supporters of this huge event (because support or detract, you can't deny it's huge) argue that Beckham's international appeal will turn the spotlight on MLS in a way that will increase its visibility and credibility both at home and abroad, tickets will sell more and players will make more money, the quality of play will rise since he's a former World Cup Team Captain and Manchester United EPL Champion, and Champion's League Winner, and that other top-notch world players will follow his lead and make the move to the United States.

Now...where does The James fit into this huge controversy? I'm a huge International Soccer fan, and watch the EPL, Champion's League, MLS and even Italian Serie A avidly. I think Beckham was a hell of a player, and proved that with his career. He played for Manchester United and Real Madrid, won the highest Club Championships that one can win, and was Team Captain for England for 5 years or so. After the '06 World Cup, and Sven Erikkson was fired as England's Coach, Beckham was asked to step down as Captain, and then left off the squad for their next International matches. I for one am not ready to write off the man when he's only 31, and think England will miss one of the most brilliant passers and set-piece experts I've ever seen. We all watched Zidanne work magic at 36, and Figo was still unbelievable to his mid-thirties, so it's not the age. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, hope he still wants to play, and anything...ANYTHING that gets people talking about MLS is a good thing. As far as the questions surrounding his motivation to make the move...well, I think the President of Real Madrid sounded like a jilted lover. They tried to sign Beckham to a 1 or 2 year deal, so THEY WANTED him, but then didn't want to give Beckham a starting position. How can anyone blame him for taking the highest offer, and a guarranteed start? As far as other European clubs, I don't see the man going back to EPL when he already played for years on Manchester United, the regular top team, and then go on to play for a team further down the table (Although that might have been cool if he went to Chelsea). I think he's smart to take the offer, and hope he retires after his contract to buy an interest in a team. I don't see him as an actor with that panzie voice of his, but that's my opinon. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, but I for one am down for watching MLS next season.

In Memoriam...Significant Losses from '06 According to The James

Just wanted to recognize a few people who headed off into the great beyond. We will all miss their creativity and talent, but I'd say that each and every one of them have left behind work or legacies that will be enjoyed by millions for years to come. Each and every one of these people (listed in no order of importance) meant something to me at one time or another, and it's the least I can do to recognize that here and now.

1. Robert Altman: This list had to start with one of the true greatest American Maverick Directors that ever worked in the film industry. Where do I start with this legend? His body of work reveals a list of varying genres, eras, and themes...it also varies according to genuine hits (MASH, Nashville, Gosford Park), and misses (Popeye). It's obvious that his actors will miss him, since every one of them look back fondly on their experiences working with him in the collaborative atmosphere that he created on his film sets. In a business where film is mostly commercial at a certain level of significance and exposure, Altman endeavored to keep his integrity complete, and always proceeded with his films in an independent and creative direction. I think he would have rather failed with a film that was pure in its creativity and intent, rather than succeeded after hacking it out with whatever ending or shots tested well. I'll miss his use of dialogue, the way he let the actors portrayals tell the story rather than the plot dictate the portrayals, and especially the genuine feeling of expectation I had whenever watching an Altman film. I mean, you just never really knew where he would take you with the story...like life, his films seemed sentient and evolving with mysterious purpose while you tagged along for the ride.

2. James Brown: The Godfather of Soul has knelt, taken his cape, and been escorted offstage for the final time. I think I first discovered James Brown through Eddie Murphy doing imitations of him on Saturday Night Live, and then in The Blues Brothers flick, and finally seeing him in Rocky IV. Everyone will go on and on about his contributions, and his influence is felt whenever you see today's hottest performers (Prince, MJ, Justin Timberlake, Lenny Kravitz, etc...). I will miss him like I miss the original artwork of a great painting or comic, since it just shines brighter and with more luster than any of the imitations that come after it.


3. Martin Nodell: Many of you might not be familiar with this man, but in fact he was the creator of the Green Lantern. Way back in 1940, Mr. Nodell became inspired by the Wagnerian Ring saga, and created the Golden Age Alan Scott version of the Green Lantern. Illustrating the first few adventures himself, under the pseudonym Mart Dellon, Mr. Nodell began to create one of the most iconic characters of the DC Universe. In the '60's, Julius Schwartz reinvented Nodell's creation with the Hal Jordan version, taking on more of a sci-fi, pulpy direction and adding to the character's evolving mythology. Many Green Lanterns have followed, but all of them are born from the original creation of this gifted artist. Going to a few conventions a year, I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Nodell a few times, and I'm glad I had the chance to talk, if only briefly, with a creator of his significance. I for one wish that DC would have had the grace to acknowledge Mr. Nodell's accomplishment in Green Lantern comics with a byline that read "GL created by Martin Nodell," in the same way that they give Bob Kane credit for Batman in every Bat comic. Perhaps they will now, after all...it seems our humanity always surfaces after it could do anyone any good.

4. Jack Palance: First time I ever saw Jack Palance act, it was in that version of Dracula he did that was on late-night television when I was a kid. Scared the hell outta me. Next time I saw Jack Palance act was in a low-budged sci-fi cult film called Hawk the Slayer, and he was the villain. Again...scared the hell outta me. Like everyone else, I fell in love with him in City Slickers, and cheered him on as he made the most of his return to the limelight doing 1-arm pushups all the way. Playing "Curly," he taught me one of the great truths of life: "You know what the secret to life is...this. One thing, and nothing else means shit." The only difficulty I have ever had has been figuring out what that one thing is for me. Then in a college film class when we were dissecting messianic archetypes, we watched Shane, and there was Palance again...intimidating, leering, and stealing his scenes as the gunfighter. He was a force of nature on film, and was likewise in life. I remain a fan of his work and legacy that, like my friend Zablo's favorite film icon Rocky, "it ain't over till you hear the bell."

5. Don Knotts: Yes, I watched The Andy Griffith show re-runs when I was a kid, and before I could appreciate the genius of Griffith's dry humor, or many of the other characters on the show...Don Knotts was funny to any kid at any age. Barney-Five is a legendary character, brought to life by the genius physical and character acting skills of an incredible performer. I also loved Mr. Knotts' films, especially The Incredible Mr. Limpet (which I hope they never remake), No Time For Sergeants, and the few films he did with Tim Conway at Disney, like The Apple Dumpling Gang, etc... While I loved Norman Fell's Mr. Roper on Three's Company, I also thoroughly enjoyed Knott's Mr. Furley, even as the show itself became tired. A winner of several Emmy awards, Mr. Knotts' work on television and film will remain a landmark in the minds of multigenerational audiences, and a standard of excellence that all performers can aspire to as an ultimate goal.

6. Dave Cockrum: Who can forget the amazing reboot of Stan Lee's X-Men with Giant Size X-Men Number 1? It was one of the most important modern age comics ever, and one I swindled a guy for back in the early 90's. (I swapped a Web of Spiderman #1 and $20 for his copy) It brought Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Colossus into the X-Men, and they remain my favorite X characters. I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Cockrum at a couple of conventions, and even managed to get a Nightcrawler sketch from him. I can't tell you the hours I spent growing up reading X-Men, and enjoying stories based on characters that he helped create. I hope the world sees a new crop of amazing artistic talents spring up...because it seems like all the greats are leaving.

7. Peter Boyle: I don't know which movie of his extensive career it was where I first saw him...The Dream Team, Johnny Dangerously, Taxi Driver...but it was Young Frankenstein that made Peter Boyle a legend to me. Besides the fact that the movie is as close to comedic perfection as you can get and is one of the great Mel Brooks/Gene Wilder collaborations from the 70's, it marked my introduction to an actor capable of enormous range in performance. His creature did everything in that film...drama, subtle comedy, physical slapstick, erotic intrigue, and even musical numbers. I only wish Peter Boyle had a few more "great" roles to add to his already impressive resume. In his later years, he worked in television...doing a memorable stint on NYPD Blue and then taking a long-term gig on Everybody Loves Raymond as "Frank Barone."

That's it for last year. Many more moved on, but this list was about ones who meant something significant to me. Until next time...The James is out.

Best & Worst Events of 2006 in the life of The James

Here's a quick compilation of the highlights (both good and bad) from last year for me. Looking back and analyzing things can give one a clearer mindset to interpret the road ahead, or at least make it easier to set up new goals, and that is the purpose for this post, along with recognizing and crediting some people for things that are important to me...something that I should do more concurrently. Let's start with the best and work our way down to the worst:

Best Moments of 2006 (Listed chronologically, not in any other significance):

1. Directing "Harvey" for the 2nd time at OPHS (Feb): It's not just because this is my favorite play of all time, or sentimentally because it's the first play I ever directed, but because it was a farewell, or last hurrah of one of my most talented and impressive collection of Imagination Players Troupe members since the founders left a few years back. Matt M, Matt W, Rachel W, Jarrell F, Hollie B, Kaitlyn G, Rachel M, and Lazenby...thank you for making it such an enjoyable experience, and know that you are all missed.

2. Running the Gate River Run in Jacksonville, FL...and surviving (March): I'm not a runner, don't claim to be, but am one who occasionally runs. I've always been into lifting and Scottish Heavy Athletics, but I did used to play soccer so running wasn't entirely foreign to me. In fact, my former answer to the question "Do you run?" used to be "Only when chased..." That changed when my mentor at OPHS, Mr. Combs laid down the gauntlet to me about running the River Run. He coached me on my training, and soon I developed 3 goals for said 15k (9.3 miles) race: 1) I wanted to live, 2) I wanted to finish the race, & 3) I wanted to do it in under 2 hours. These might not seem like impressive goals to some of you, but to a guy who had never run more than 2 miles before the training...it seemed like a lot. The good news is...I lived, finished, and did it at about 1:58:37 or so the newspaper said. Look for my results this year in the paper...

3. Reconnecting with the Lisas (March/Dec): I'd hate to jinx this, but I did reconnect with a pair of ladies who were some of my closest friends in the 80's and 90's, and only during this decade have we fallen out of touch...mostly due as usual, to me. Both named Lisa/Lise Fisher, and best friends and roommates, they were satellite members of the Fisher clan who were my second family growing up. Running into them at MegaCon last year was awesome, and then hanging out a little with Lisa at Christmas this year was enough to make some informal plans about visits for this year. Hopefully, this will turn out...my friends that I actually trust are always a short, exclusive clientelle, but unfortunately it only gets smaller...

4. All trips to Atlanta to stay/hang out with the Laytons & Crew (All year...probably more often than the Laytons would like): This proves to be an annual highlight on this list, but I have to mention it nonetheless. For some reason, Eric and Mimi Layton don't seem to mind me coming up to their place in Atlanta periodically and staying for a weekend. Many people think seeing me once in their lifetime is more than enough, but not these two. It's a testament to their graciousness and empathy towards a soulless, single, narcissistic guy like myself that I'm welcome, and actually feel "comfortable" in a world not of my own making. I'm usually travelling with John Higashi, and we ordinarilly include some other regulars in Atlanta there also (Brian, Stine, etc...) in eating, drinking (usually me and too much), and watching an independent flick at the Tara Mark Theatre on Cheshire Blvd. It's always a highlight to me, and one I look forward to again with great anticipation.

5. The 2006 World Cup (June/July): If you don't know what a huge soccer fan I am, then you don't know me. I think 1986 was my first World Cup, and I remember watching Argentina, Italy, and Brazil at my Aunt & Uncle's trailer in Middleburg. When I was a kid I played soccer for 5 or 6 years, and went to several of the Jacksonville Tea Men games, when we had a professional soccer team in the now defunct NASL. Fast forward to 1994 and I watched 48 out of 52 games in the World Cup when it was held here in the U.S.A., and even watched our International Squad take on Moldavia in a friendly after the Cup. It's always been a passion of mine, and the creation of the MLS in USA hasn't taken the edge off of the intensity that I get when World Cup gets closer. It truly is the World's Sport, and the Beautiful Game...nothing, not NFL, NHL, NBA, MLB nor any other sport even comes close. It's my dream to one day get to see a real World Cup match...hopefully one day that will happen. Anyway, while USA sucked thanks to Bruce Arena's backpedalling, and it will probably continue to suck since they won't do what's necessary to hire an elite international coach (IE the recent failure with Jurgen Klinsmann), it was nice to watch some of my favorite players play in their final Cup (Zidanne, Beckham, Figo, etc...) and new favorites discovered (Messi, Fabregas, Henry, Tevez). Italy won the show...but watching Zidanne up until he went nuts in the final with the head-butt was like watching art being created in front of your eyes.

6. Teaching A/P English (August to present): This year, OPHS decided to expand the A/P classes and sections taught to include more kids, so I was offered the chance to teach an A/P English 11 class. It was kind of an honor to be recommended, and I took the opportunity. Working with brighter kids is always a plus for me, and I took and passed the A/P English test when I was in school...so I thought "why not." I had no idea of how much I would have to learn as far as the content and material taught on this test...until I attended a 3 day workshop over the summer. It's intense, folks...and the kids? Well, some of the kids are brighter than the average duck...but others are about normal with good attitudes. We'll see how many, if any, of my kids pass at the end of the year.

7. Dragoncon & YOTJ (September): If you didn't know, last year was officially Year Of The James. I know because I dubbed it so myself, accidentally, and it caught on. People were saying it in communications back and forth that I wasn't even a part of...and Brian Stelfreeze, Artist Extraordinaire, was signing his emails with YOTJ. It all goes back to me declaring that '06 would be my next time to acquire a piece of Stelfreeze original art, to complement my previous pieces of black & white and watercolor pieces. It was supposed to happen at Dragoncon, and I had no clue of what to expect. To say that I was surprised when Eric and Mimi, John Higashi, and Brian wore T-shirts with YOTJ, my picture stolen from MySpace at last year's River Run, and images of my watercolor pieces from Brian, on them would be an understatement of my genuine shock, and the sincere humbleness I felt at this unexpected and moving gesture of their affection for me. Likewise, I was both shocked and moved by Brian's artwork...both pieces. My choice was Ra's Al Ghul, and Brian had pre-done a black & white piece, and did a watercolor piece during the show. It capped off an already awesome weekend at my favorite show to attend every year. Somehow, and for some reason unbeknownst to me...I was blessed with amazing friends. I hope they know how much I appreciate them, and what YOTJ '06 meant to me. Can't wait for the next YOTJ...

8. The Wire Season 4 on HBO (September to November): I love good drama, and if you didn't read my Best Shows Returning to TV post a couple of months ago...The Wire was at the top. The writing was the highest calibre, the acting, the direction...this show is better than all of the other cops shows you've ever seen...and doubled. This season, unbelievably, the show became even better and more complex...focusing subplot attention on a group of inner-city kids, their school, the usual cops/dealers/hoods, and the political arena. This season was also more enjoyable because I could finally talk about it with people who also watched (sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who truly seeks out things that are cool) like Dylan, JJ, Rick, and others. I can't describe the intense satisfaction I gained from watching this season develop, and stay true to the creators' intent. Congrats HBO...now give us those Deadwood films you promised us.

9. The Fox Soccer Channel/English Premier League Soccer (October to present): After watching every World Cup, I go into a heavy Post Soccer Depression. The symptoms are all there...plain as day: food doesn't taste as good, American Football lacks the same intensity, MLS Soccer just isn't enough...and then a miracle happened. I had intended to seek out pubs that catered to European clientelle (was thinking the Beach or 5 Points) and noticed listing for the Fox Soccer Channel. After making inquiries I discovered that it would only be an additional $5 per month, so I jumped on it. Folks...it has been a change in my life so fundamental, that I am almost moved when I talk about it. Every weekend, and sometimes during the week, I tune in to watch the English Premier League play, watch Italian Serie A, Argentinian Soccer, and even Champions League, and the FA Cup. I see the best of the World Cup players playing for their respective professional clubs, and it's so damn awesome. Maybe that's why I'm in a better mood lately than I usually have a right to be. Anyway...this definitely qualified as a highlight on my Best Of List for 2006.

10. Nominated for Teacher of the Year (December): At first I thought this was a joke, but it turned out to be genuine. I was nominated with 3 other people for Teacher of the Year at OPHS. I knew I wasn't going to win (I don't look the part, don't kiss ass, don't network, and don't take enough credit for things I do or claim to do, and I was right...I didn't), but it was "nice" in some ways to be considered. The only reason I even did the ridiculous little interview thing for it was because so many less-than-intelligent people at the school don't consider my department to be a serious entity, worthy of consideration, or "essential" to the curriculum. Congrats to my pal, Kim, for winning...she absolutely rocks, and especially since I voted for her anyway.

11. GCFF VII (December): My annual film festival event just gets bigger and better each year. I was extremely pleased with GCFF VI, and moderately so with VII. We had some glitches this year, but I am endeavoring to learn everything about Powerpoint, Editing, and so on to take more of a "hands-on" approach to the festival's award show finale, and take it to a higher level of coolness next year. Congrats to all my filmmakers this year for making it worthwhile, and especially to Bethany K and Ryan S for writing and directing Grave Silence, this year's Best Film winner.

12. Directing "Amber & Eve" at UNF in Dr. Monteleone's Playwrights Project '06 (December): After writing, directing and acting in last year's Playwrights Project at UNF, I was asked to direct a 1 Act play for the '06 event. Gathering up some former I Troupe members was fairly easy, and it made the experience surreal, nostalgic, wistful, thrilling, enjoyable, and immensely satisfying all simultaneously. I say we kicked some ass, and many others thought so as well. My thanks and my affection pour forth for Sheena, Hollie, Jen, Lazenby, Bad-News Crews, Steve, and Big Mo. I wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been an opportunity to work with you all again.

Worst Moments of 2006:

1. Nominated for Teacher of the Year: All of a sudden people I don't know "know" me, and I hate extra attention...added to the fact that it's a dog and pony show at best, and subjective B/S at worst.

2. Missing HeroesCon in June: I missed my first Heroes Convention in like 9 years or something this past year. I was low on funds since I chose watching the World Cup to be my summer job, and it doesn't pay much in dollars, but infinitely rewards the soul, and I had some family stuff going on, and these things conspired to prevent my attendance. I really like that show, for the art, meeting some of the guests, and hanging out with the crew most of all...and I plan to go back this year.

3. Being Sick for Oct, Nov, and Dec of '06: This totally sucked, since I loathe being sick at all. I was a wreck and just couldn't shake this sinus-infection/flu thing that I had. It prevented me from working out, and made doing the GCFF, directing "Amber," teaching, and pre-production work on "MND" incredibly difficult. Much of that period is a blur to me.

4. Comic Bodega Closing: My pal Dave closed his comic shop, and I lost another cool place to hang out and get comics. I went back to my old shop at Universe, and they are cool...but it's not like hanging with people and talking b/s for an extra hour or two every other week. That's a good comic shop, man.

5. No Money...Paying Off Bills: I had less money this year, since I decided to break the chains of slavery that still operate in this country: Credit Card Debt. I'm paying off stuff now, and unfortunately this leaves funds in a meager state...but I look forward to the day when I only have 1 or two major things taking money out of my check each month. Take my advice people...if you don't have money to pay for it in cash...you don't need it.

So that's it people...more good than bad, although the few bad things felt like forever. '06 was pretty cool, but I'm thinking '07 will be even better.

WORST FILMS OF 2006...ACCORDING TO THE JAMES

Howdy all, TJ here. This post is for my pal, EZ E aka Bear, aka The Meat-Man, aka The Bloody Butcher, aka Lesbian-Candy, aka Mr. Mimi Layton. Anyway, EZ E claims that I like too many films, and always challenges me to name ones I can't stand. I take challenges...in fact, I recall purchasing a Justin Timberlake cd in Atl recently that EZ himself desired, but was too intimidated to buy. Well, here is my Worst List of '06, and I've limited it to 5 films that I personally had to endure while watching them. I didn't include the obvious awful films that I wasn't dumb enough to pay to see...you know, films that like human excrement, you can smell the stink on them from a mile away. Putrescent gems like The Omen remake, Blood Diamond, Fast & The Furious Tokyo Drift, The Pink Panther, and You, Me, & Dupree. The filmmakers and intelligenstsia behind these cinematic life-stealers should be flayed alive and dropped in acidic bubble baths. Anyway, on with my list in descending order...saving the "best" for last:

5. X-Men 3 The Last Stand: Let me say from the beginning that for once, I don't blame the director here. Brett Rattner (Rush Hour, Red Dragon) was basically brought in as a "jobber" to complete a production that had already been bailed on twice (Singer & Vaughn) and was working to bring the film in on a deadline demanded by the personal ego of Tim Rothman, head of 20th Century Fox Studios, since Rothman was engaged in a pissing contest with Bryan Singer over his departure to make Superman Returns. (Personal Note for everything Rothman did to sabotage X-Men in the beginning, desiring to claim credit when it was a success later, and everything he did to lose Bryan Singer and cost the fans a great trilogy: SCREW YOU ROTHMAN...DIE!!!) The end product was X-Men 3: The Last Stand. I'm thinking that folks came up with that title after watching early screenings of the film, since it was one horrible pile of shit. The opportunities squandered with the quintissential X-Men story, The Phoenix Saga, are incalculable. What is seen is double to triple the usual amount of characters on screen...which equal less characterization (Hell, we learned all there was to know about Angel in the film from the previews...except his schmaltzy look at his father after his messianic rescue effort), a Wolverine that I suppose uses his incredible healing factor to quickly overcome his grief over the death of Jean Grey (it took him 1 scene), and the complete and total gutting of Jean Grey's character into a monosyllabic-terminatoresque monster role, where Famke Janssen had about as much emoting to do as Michael Myers in Halloween. I hated this film on pretty much ever level, excluding the geek-out enjoyment of watching Beast on the screen. Compared to 1 and 2, which are in my top Comic-adaptation films of all time (post coming soon), this one is like a phallic-shaped weed with covered in manure beside 2 long-stem, immaculately groomed roses.

4. The Departed: Yes, I know. I said it, and I meant it. I know it's Scorcese and I freely acknowledge that he is one of the true masters of the artform working today. I also "like" some of the film...Nicholson is awesome as usual, Damon is good, and I like Wahlberg now...in fact his performances in Boogie Nights, I Heart Huckabees, and The Departed almost make me forget "Marky Mark," and Planet of the Apes. Now we get to the real problems: 1) It's an inferior remake of a better film: Infernal Affairs. The rule is that if you remake something, it has to be better...and the ones that usually work are re-envisionings, not revisions...like Snyder's Dawn of the Dead, or Scorcese's own Cape Fear. Unfortunately, this is not better than the wonderful Hong Kong flick I watched the year before, and it's not re-envisioned: the whole plot scenario with the building and the cops and mob showing up at the same time is taken directly from IA. Now we come to the more glaring problem with The Departed: Leonardo Dicaprio. How this guy convinces anybody that he's a tough guy is beyond me. I'm not saying that this guy can't act...I thought he was amazing in What's Eating Gilbert Grape, and very good in Catch Me If You Can, and The Aviator. The problem is when he tries to play tough guys that I start to laugh my ass off...and no actor, not even Daniel Day-Lewis himself possesses the craft to act like Dicaprio is someone to be afraid of, or intimidated by. The roles he plays well acknowledge or make use of his feminine features and lack of masculinity and it works fine for him. However, Dicaprio and Scorcese have missed the boat when they think he's the perfect fit for Gangs of New York and The Departed. What baffles me is WHY Scorcese has adopted "Leo" as his new on-camera persona, after he worked with "Bobby" (Deniro) for so long. Some film critics have explained this as Scorcese literally exploring the masculine with Deniro's "raging" presence and now intent on uncovering the feminine with Dicaprio. I for one, am sick of it, and laugh at all those who buy into Dicaprio's sad-ass tough guy schtick...Go see him butcher a South African accent as a "bad-ass" in Blood Diamond while you're at it. I thought that perhaps Scorcese might be grooming Day-Lewis as Deniro's heir-apparent after Age of Innocence and Gangs of New York, but Day-Lewis doesn't work fast enough...even by Scorcese's standards. I put this on my worst list for wasting a potentially great Scorcese film with such an obvious poor casting choice.

3. Superman Returns: You know, the one consolation I had when I heard that Singer was leaving Fox and X-Men, was that he was going to be heading up the Superman reboot. I am an avid Bryan Singer fan, with The Usual Suspects, Apt Pupil, and X-Men 1 & 2 being some of my favorite films. I was also excited that Singer was going to use former Suspects alumni Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Cool...very cool. Still yet more shockingly, and amazing, was that Singer planned to continue the groundwork from Superman 1 & 2 that Richard Donner had laid. Awesome!!! Then...things started to go down. Kate Bosworth was cast as Lois Lane based on...what, exactly? Her fine performance in the moronic and abyssmal Blue Crush? Win a Date with Tad Hamilton? Or was it that she was in Spacey's Bobby Darin bio-pic, Beyond the Sea? None of these roles captured the spirit of an aggressive, tough, ballsy but hot Lois Lane. However, I could let that slide...for Singer, I mean he hadn't failed me so far. Then the casting of Superman: Brandon Routh. Okay, I saw this guy...and he looked like a good Clark Kent, if a little young. However, I kept getting a little uneasy that no sign of him acting in a scene was available even all the way up until the trailer. When it finally came time to see the film, I was apprehensive, but I had faith in Singer. Folks, that's what I get for having faith. The film's narrative didn't bother me like it did many...although when I thought Singer was going to "follow" the work of Donner, I didn't think that meant directly imitate plot points, (Luthor's after real estate, again?), or borrow lines from those films in a failed attempt at homage that became theft. Spacey and Parker Posey were fine...but Bosworth was horrible and looked so out of place with the tinted dark hair, and Routh...Routh's performance was a bad, bad, bad Christopher Reeve impression done by an actor who doesn't possess a fraction of Reeve's charm, charisma, or humor. I won't even add comment on his physicality, except that from the side he's so thin that if I punched him in the gut, it might go through his back...and Superman doesn't have fey or male-modelesque looks. He's a simple farmboy, bumbling city news employee, and a demigod in a cape...no time for eyebrow plucking. Superman The Movie made me believe a man could fly, and Reeve was the perfect embodiment of a godlike hero who was a farmboy at heart. Anyone with an ounce of pretension could never be Superman, and Reeve became a legend. Unfortunately, all Superman Returns made me believe was that even the best directors make mistakes...and this one cost hundreds of millions of dollars, and jeopardizes the cinematic future of one of pop-culture's greatest icons.

2. The Lady in the Water: M. Night, M. Night, M. Night...this was the "make or break it" film, with The Sixth Sense being great, Unbreakable being a work of art, and then...The Village. The Village strained the confidence of Disney's development staff, enough that they were ready for your ramblings in The Lady in the Water...and they passed. Maybe it was your intention to use their money for scenes that had nothing to do with the plot, but to serve your own ego when you included the character of the movie critic. Get over yourself, dude. The Village sucked, and critics didn't make it suck...you did. So you find a new backer, determined that you're right, and the suits don't understand your genius, and that "narfs" are cool...Get some help, man!!! I like Paul Giamatti in everything, that's not the problem. It's Bryce Dallas Howard for one thing...extremely unattractive and unappealing to look at, and the story itself is anticlimactic, silly, and has a glaring flaw: the complete and total lack of any skepticism over the B/S raised in the film's narrative at all. Everybody just hears this fairy tale crap and immediately shrugs and goes "Yeah, we've got to get involved." WTF? I mean, what about 1 guy who hears that she's a chick named Story from the Blue World and there's a grass-turfy-looking monster after her and says "Blow it out your ass, I think you're full of it." Wouldn't that have added a sense of realism to this otherwise completely sad and assinine melodrama? Okay fine, if she's enchanted and people just immediately flock to her...shouldn't someone at least notice this and comment on that so we get it? I still don't think a skeptic could have helped this debacle of a film succeed, but it bothered me endlessly. Anyway, I hope that M. Night Shymalan comes back with some great stuff, because he's made two awesome flicks...but I fear that he might suffer from some of the success-driven demential that plagued Orson Welles after Citizen Kane.

1. The Davinci Code: You waited for it, and here it is...ladies and gentlemen last year's worst film according to TJ was another collaboration between Ron Howard and Tom Hanks (Splash, Apollo 13.) I've never been a fan of Ron Howard's directing (A Beautiful Mind, Ransom, The Missing)...he's never innovative or particularly interesting with his camera choices, and does much of the same banal material, but Hanks on the project, bringing his Gary Cooperesque brand of sincerity left me a glimmer of hope that this might be at least, enjoyable. Audrey Tatou, Paul Bettany and Alfred Molina being cast lent even further hope, but landing Sir Ian McKellan made this a must-see film for me. Unfortunately, it turns out that Ron Howard could only turn out Ron Howard material, and Tom Hanks was woefully miscast as the inexplicably mulleted Robert Langdon. I have never seen Hanks as an aggressive character, or even what is called a "handkerchief actor" where the actor attempts to steal every scene their in with behavior or gestures. However, the complete passivity of Hanks' Langdon rendered the film almost unwatchable to me during my one and only time ever wasting hours of my life on it. Audrey Tatou made more moves than him, and kicked more cinematic ass as his character just watched everything happened around him. No, I wasn't wanting him to be Indiana Jones, but at least act like a man. It felt like I was watching a classroom presentation on Europe: Architecture & History...with about as much tension or suspense. That much talent in a film based on the world's hottest book (besides all things Harry Potter) and this is the result? That's why The Davinci Code makes the top of the list as '06's worst film of the year.

So that's it folks, and FOTJ. Let me know if I picked on any of your favorites of last year, or if we share the bond of suffering for having survived watching some of these celluloid criminal acts.